Four Forty-Five This Morning

I was making out with my wife in our bunk in a mining colony on an alien world run by our teleporting trans-dimensional sparkly vampire overlords who prefer to travel by miniature steam train when I woke up to George’s softly padding feet and dragging Ledo (blanket) as he plodded into our bedroom. It was 4:45AM.

George: Momma, Daddy, can I have a Yoshi?
Me: It’s very early, go back to bed.
George: But can I have a Yoshi?

I could tell this wasn’t going to end soon, so I grabbed my pillow and blanket and we went back to his room. We laid down on his futon and I closed my eyes.

George: So can I have a Yoshi?
Me: Sorry, buddy. Yoshi’s aren’t real.
George: Yeah, but can I have a Yoshi toy?
Me: We’ll see.
George: Is there a Super Mario Brothers Store around here?

He had taken my sleepy “We’ll see” as a “Yes” and was ready to go get it right then.

Me: I don’t think there are any Super Mario Brothers stores. Maybe in Japan.
George: Like Choo-Choo Soul?
Me: Right, like where the bullet train is.
George: OK! let’s go!
Me: It’s very far away.
George: Where is it?
Me: It’s across the Pacific Ocean.
George: Can we walk there?
Me: No, we can’t walk to Japan. It’s way too far.
George: Well, can we go there?
Me: Maybe someday.

At this point I had woken up enough to realize we had gotten way off the original topic.

Me: OK, look, we can get a Yoshi toy next time we go to Toys ‘R’ Us. Now please lay down and go back to sleep.

Two minutes later we were downstairs eating breakfast because he was “not too sleepy”. I think he wrangled a Yoshi toy and trip to Japan out of me.

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  • Add it to the growing list of Disney, Big Ben and the Eiffel Tower.